i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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