is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
