I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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