You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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