I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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