also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
