How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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