I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
