Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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