what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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