There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
