I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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