She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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