just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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