did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize