just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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