After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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