It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
