Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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