i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
