So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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