i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
