I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
