That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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