sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You took a bar mat shot.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize