ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
