her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
