As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
