chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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