Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
