put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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