Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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