i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
