I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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