when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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