I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
