I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
