Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
