So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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