NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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