We're like a lot better than the average bears
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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