I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
