I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
