I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
