My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
