well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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