Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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