My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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