You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
