hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
