You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
