Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
