HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You ate ashes out of my bong
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
