apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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