People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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