garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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