Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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