I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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