I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i out mim tonsoeep
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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