Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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