The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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