I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
