i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
