apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
