We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
