Can i not drive my cunt home
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
