And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
