I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
